Nightmares

Dear Pupu,

I've been having nightmares about my graduate applications. A few scenarios popped in my head when the admission committee is reviewing my qualifications.

Scenario 1:
"OH MY GOD!!! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF APPLYING TO OUR SCHOOL????"

Scenario 2:
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"
Everyone takes a while to calm themselves down.
"Oh man, that was good. I needed that."
They tossed it aside and looked at other applications.

Scenario 3:
"Aww.... We almost feel sad taking this person's application fee..... How sad."

Scenario 4:
Simon Cowell pinching his head and saying,"No. Absolutely no."

Scenario 5:
"Hmm.... Ísn't he from the country that banned chewing gum? Rejected!"

Scenario 6:
"Oh I'm sure he already has a PhD..... Permanent Head Damage that is! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

I'm terrified. Terribly.

Praying

Dear Pupu,

In times of despair and anguish, I feel like praying. But I do not believe in any religion or god.

In times of despair and anguish, it is said that faith can help pull one through. But no matter how much faith one has, the situation will still remain the same.

I have never believed in anything or anyone but myself. So in times of despair and anguish, I can only rely on myself.

Sometimes I feel like radiating myself with gamma rays so I can transform into the Hulk and squeeze his FUCKING brains out of his numbskull. Bruce Banner sure has it easy. No one dares to offend him because his anger will eventually lead to a simple solution of violence. FYI, Bruce Banner is the incredible Hulk.

Is there any substance that can cause brain aneurysm in a person? No wait. Brain aneurysm is a sudden and painless death. I can't have that happening to him. I want him to suffer a long and agonising death. Each breath he draws will cause more pain for him. If there are any tumor cells in him, I hope they metastasis now.